Monday, August 15, 2005

i don't think that it should be allowed that someone could hurt your feelings this much. i don't feel like i have anyone to talk about it with. people that i call are not home and don't return my phone calls (this may be b/c they are not home). i don't have any friends. i could go back to one but she's smarter then that, and there is nothing left of it. and again i'm on the brink of crying. i have no friends. i do, but they are all away and not here. in some form or another. i don't know what to do. i think it's this place, like this place isn't right for me and i'm not right for it. i'm sick of people saying "LET'S DO SOMETHING" and never following through. no, you don't want to do something b/c if you really did you would put action and not words into it. i'm tired of staying up until 3am and waking at 1pm. thinking of something to do, when i know there are other people that can't make enough time to do anything. and i sit here. i cry. it's like the only thing that i'm good at. crying. i'm so sick of it. i don't like it here, and i'm scared that seattle wont be it either. i wish i could call up everyone and be like what is it about me? what is it? i don't get what it is. i'm not fake nice, i don't let people walk all over me (for the most part), and i care about people. i guess this doesn't fly with people b/c we're all suppose to be bitchy, back stabbing and total fakes. or you have to be pretty. i'm not saying i'm not pretty, i mean pretty as the obvous kind. i don't know what to do but throw my hands up and say "i quit."

mystery phone number solved.

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