Tuesday, September 13, 2005

such a strange day today. after i made that post i checked my e-mail to see if there was any news from brenda and i see an e-mail from elan.

"last night i was at brandons house. i was stoned and listening to Wolf in the Breast. i kept thinking of you and i cried. he was upstairs playing video games."

that is so strange b/c that was yesterday and yesterday i was listening to the cocteau twins and thinking of him a bit (but let me be clear that this is not way i cried) and i get that e-mail (wolf in the breast in a cocteau twins song). part of me wants to talk to him, i want to know if he finally has a cell phone again and i want to hear his voice b/c i really miss it. i miss when we used to talk, not the way we did when our friendship was falling apart. i miss "later shainer," i think i miss that most out of everything. i miss getting really nervous when i talked to him on the phone. i missed the little things that he would tell me, like how i sound worried on the phone and he thought it was "fricken cute."

funny how things like this happen and suddenly a lot of emotions come back to you that you put in the back of your head. i've been reading that e-mail over and over like i expect it to suddenly change and i'll see something new in it. wolf and the breast brings back so much for reasons that i wont share on here but it's hitting me quite hard now that i sit down and really think about it.

i guess i'll just have to see what happens.

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