Tuesday, February 28, 2006

fuck this.

i fucking hate drama, but what i hate more then drama is people who bitch about it yet cause it.

kyle, that's dead, he never called me, i never called him. megan told me that he has a girlfriend, i don't know if that's true b/c i wouldn't put it past her to lie but i don't even care.

then there's ted. megan's been in love with this kid for a long time, i’ve just recently started to hang out with him. usually at parties it's always kenna, megan, me and ted. the first time i hung out with ted i knew i really liked him. before a party at his house kenna told me that when ted txted her he invited her, megan and megan's cute friend.

ok, cool. i can't go there, megan likes him and i know it's enough where i know i can't go there or shit will really hit the fan. lately however, things have changed. ted always sits by me, holds my hand when we're walking through a crowd, tells me he loves hanging out with us and then points to me and says "you . . . you're fun." when we're in a car we lean toward each other, body language says it all.

last saturday things reached a breaking point. I went to dustin's with maria and megan and kenna showed up the same time we did. i could tell things were different, i kept thinking they really didn't want to hang out with me or see me. we where all high as hell and things seemed ok so i relaxed more. ted and adam show up and now we're really having a good time. ted’s unlike anyone i have ever met, and the things that come out of that kid’s mouth make me laugh harder than anyone has.

kenna says i can ride back with her and megan but first we stop at ted's. the movie shawn of the dead is finishing up and afterward everyone goes to bed. kenna and megan go out to the garage to smoke and ted and i are alone in the livingroom. i sit on the couch with my knees up and cover up with a blanket; ted sits next to me. suddenly he put his head on my knees and i’m freaking out inside.
"ted you really need to put your head up please."
"why?"
"b/c you just do, i don't want megan to see. if she sees us, she's going to be so mad, she likes you . . . "

megan walks in the room and i stare at the tv; she goes outside to the car. ted takes his head off my knees.

"ted, this is really bad, she's going to kill me."
"why? i don't get what the big deal is."
"b/c she likes you, and she's going to kill me b/c you had your head on me."
"that's pretty stupid and immature."

megan comes back in and goes out to the garage.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?????? they come back in and kenna says we're leaving. we get in the car and no one says anything. kenna wont return my phone calls and when i txted megan asking if she'd bring over captain cletus i get back: "i want my cd's back too."

WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE SO FUCKING STUPID? first off, she doesn't even ask me what happened, she just stops talking to me. second it's ALWAYS my fault and i’m the twat when this happens even though he put his head on my knees. ted txted me sunday night asking if everything was ok, and i told him i could handle it. we planned on getting together monday and hanging out (where i hoped to talk to him about this bullshit) but he had to cancel. i went over there today with maria but his roommates where home and i wasn't going to talk about that shit with them there so he told me to call him tomorrow.

why the fuck am i friends with this psycho? it's easier to be friends with her then not b/c she will make your life a living hell.

argh.

grow. the. fuck. up.

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