Thursday, April 13, 2006

i made out with jeordie white.










in my dream last night i mean. i know this is nuts, this crush that i have on him. i know it's totally ludicrous but, holy fucking shit that man is so goodlooking it should be illegal.















i was front row at a nin concert on the left side, jeordie's side. it was strange b/c i came with jeodie and he was three rows behind me. the concert was seated with cement bleachers, but why i was in front and jeordie was three rows behind i'm not sure.

as i was standing there watching the concert and occasionally looking back to see if jeordie was still there, jeordie who was playing handed me a light from their lighting rig. i looked back at jeordie like, did you just see that all excited. he remained unmoved.

suddenly this guy behind me starts getting up in my grill. he felt my ass and i turned around and started to scream at him and punched him in the face. he was shocked that i did so and started to scream at me, but a security guy told him to shut up and leave me alone. i looked at jeordie to see if he saw any of this and he once again remained unmoved.

this other girl came along and took my spot but i really didn't care so i walked back to jeordie. he stood up so i could sit down but i pulled him down next to me. when he sat down everyone got sucked into a kind of vaccum and they all went away but jeordie and i remained there.

(this next part is embarrassing to tell)
jeordie and i are sitting there and we're talking and we keep kissing each other on the lips quickly but everytime we do he looks down. basically i'm showering him with kisses on his forehead, and brow bone and we continue to talk. however, i get frustrated that he's not really looking at me so i grab his face and make him look me in the eyes. then we start to make out and i get so excited i wake up.

that was by far the greatest dream i've ever had. that even beats out all my manson dreams i have all the time. i think part of the reason i got excited and woke up is b/c before i went to bed i read an artical about a lucid dreaming technique. the artical talked about looking at your hands in a dream and using that as the signal that you are dreaming. when you realize this it's a key to help you become lucid. when i saw my hands on his face i think that triggered something, and when you're practicing becoming lucid you can get excited and wake up.

for more about lucid dreaming this site has been really great and i've been using it for years. it also helps you figure out what your dreams may mean with some questions to ask yourself.

i looked around that site that i found the hand technique and found some other interesting articals. automatic writing and dreams look around it's really interesting.

i need to find some new music. i want everyone (well really only dawn, brenda, mel and christina will answer this probably) to list 5 or more bands that i should check out. i don't want sublime or something listed b/c i know them already; i want bands that i probably haven't heard of or a band that you're passionate about.

i was talking with maria a few days ago and we got on the subject of this blog and how someone said in art club like, three years ago, that they read something i wrote and it offended them. i just want to say sorry about whatever it was, and know that i was going through a tough year and wasn't a very happy person. i know it's long over with but i feel like i should say sorry and i probably didn't mean it.

it's 85 degrees outside. holy shit son, i fucking love spring. seriously i don't think i've ever loved spring more then i do right now. we need more thunderstorms though, and i mean a really big loud thunderstorms b/c those are the best.

```

`!about